


Then We Talk

by flowerbedofsouls



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 08:06:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10301822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerbedofsouls/pseuds/flowerbedofsouls
Summary: ”Please, don’t yell at me,” Isak whispers, but it cuts through the kitchen like a razorblade.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I asked people to send me a ship and a sentence. You can do the same. Send me your own angst opening lines or [send me one (or more) of these](http://isaksqueaks.tumblr.com/post/158406632216/some-angst-openingslines). Please send them on my Tumblr so I have easy access to all prompts.
> 
> This drabble-y thing has a reference to **past suicide attempt**. And deals with coded panic attack.
> 
> [Read it on Tumblr](http://isaksqueaks.tumblr.com/post/158409013786/evak-please-dont-yell-at-me-for-the-angst-lines).

”Please, don’t yell at me,” Isak whispers, but it cuts through the kitchen like a razorblade.

 

Even tenses and looks over at him, his eyes hard and his jaw clenched. “What do you want me to do, then?” he bites out, as if it’s a big effort not to continue to yell at him.

 

Isak wants to curl into himself and disappear through the floor. He wants the world to stop, rewind until a half an hour ago, so he could change the course.

 

He still hates it. He hates when people yell at him. He hates it when people yell—period. There has been too much yelling and screaming and trashing and utter _chaos_ in his childhood.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says because he doesn’t know what else to say.

 

Even scoffs. “You’re not sorry at all.”

 

Isak looks away and tries to blink away the tears. _Don’t be so sensitive, Isak._

 

“I never meant to make you angry or feel bad,” Isak explains quietly. “I’m sorry for that.”

 

“Yeah, well,” Even rolls his eyes, “a bit too late for that?”

 

Isak flinches. “Please, Even… _please_.”

 

“You have to know you can’t _fix_ me!” Even’s words shoot out and it feels like it hits Isak right in the heart. “You can’t—you can’t walk around and feel like one day everything’s going to be perfect forever, alright? It’s—I can’t _change_ who I am, Isak.”

 

“I _know_ that, Even—“

 

“No, you _don’t_ , and that’s the problem. I can’t _do_ this if you can’t understand that.”

 

Isak’s breath hitches. “What do you mean?”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

Their eyes meet again, and it makes Isak’s stomach drop. The determination and frustration in Even’s eyes are evident. There is no lingering affection in them. No lingering softness that Isak so desperately needs.

 

“I know I can’t fix you,” Isak tells him then and averts his eyes to his own feet. “Don’t think I don’t know that. I’ve spent nearly my whole childhood thinking that my mum could be fixed. I just don’t—you never really talk about what you want me to do when things happen. And I never meant that you’re _fixable_ , Even.”

 

“Then what the hell did you mean?”

 

Isak swallows thickly and meets Even’s eyes again.

 

“I meant that I love you so much that when you’re hurting, it’s hurting _me_. But I don’t want you to feel guilty or—or whatever about it. I just—the knowledge that I can’t make it go away is _painful_. But it’s never too painful for me to walk away. What’s painful is the thought of what could happen if I’m not there _with you_.”

 

Realisation dawns upon Even’s face. “That’s why you—“

 

“Yeah,” Isak croaks out. “I didn’t want you to feel like you’re being suffocated or something. I never thought of what you might be thinking about it. Your parents—they told me—about the incident…”

 

“That I tried to kill myself?” Even throws out like it’s nothing.

 

“Yeah,” Isak affirms. “I never want to come back home and find you like that.”

 

Even sighs, and combs his hair with his hand. “I understand. I just need to think for a while. Then we talk?”

 

Isak nods and looks down at the floor beside Even. “Then we talk.”

 

Even walks out from the kitchen, leaving Isak behind.

 

Isak tries to get his heart to stop racing and his hands to stop shaking. He pulls out a chair from their dinner table and slowly sits down.

 

 _It’s okay_ , he tries to convince himself. _It’s okay._

 

He really hates it when people yell at him.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/raresora) & [My Tumblr](http://isaksqueaks.tumblr.com).
> 
>  **Added note:** Hello. Please note this has been an angst prompt filler. It is up for you to interpret, and if you interpret Even to be an arse, or Isak to be taking it, I fully understand! I have a thread down below explaining what went through my own mind whilst writing. It's a bit of rambling because my sleep meds have kicked in.
> 
> I do take full offence that you call me an arsehole though. As the characters are explored, situations are explored. In this situation, Even is upset and frustrated with [something Isak has said/done]. What he is feeling is completely and utterly okay. How he shows it here is less ideal. 
> 
> He does recognise that a breather is needed for both him and Isak. Understand that Isak didn't get a panic attack because of something Even said but rather that his voice has been raised in an argument. Please note also that what has led up to this moment is up for interpretation, but there is something in what Isak has said/done that makes Even upset. I have been on both ends of arguments when it suddenly escalates because of one unforseen trigger. For example, I couldn't hear "third time's the charm" for two years, and anytime someone told me that during an argument, I would panic. I also still have problems with shouting and loud noises, but as long as it isn't viciously at me (e.g. "you're a fucking idiot" or "shut up") I accept that I myself might have been pushing buttons on the other person.
> 
> This fic was intended as an open interpretation. It was filled for an angst prompt, which is why I decided not to include their talk because I know I would have written it as a mutual understanding on where the other is, and makeup snuggles. You're free to interpret this as Isak dumping Even for this, you're free to imagine them taking a plane to the Canary Islands afterwards.
> 
> Even fictional characters aren't perfect. Isak is a bit clumsy saying things (something I imagine might be the catalyst), Isak is also the one who tells Even to stop messaging him. I do think he was being harsh, but never did I think they were toxic or unhealthy. He does this over a text message himself.
> 
> I wanted to clarify a few things, because somehow the words of this affected many people. I feel smug in the sense my words struck out, but also a need to clarify a few things that went through my mind while writing.


End file.
